Sunday, August 7, 2011

Introductions

 My name is Matthew and my wife has PCOS. She started a website or blog........I don't know which.......about her PCOS treatment. She had me post on her deal about my perspective. We were both surprised at the response we've gotten. Especially were we surprised to see the feed back my post received. My wife thought I should have my own site to talk more about my experiences with PCOS from a man's point of view. She just set this up for me, threw the laptop in my lap and told me to start typing. So I am. I'm no doctor or expert in PCOS. I do think I'm an expert on being married to my wife, though she may have other thoughts on that. My hope is that by sharing what we've been through, and how we've adapted, we can possibly help others that live with PCOS. At the very least I hope that if anyone reads either one of our blogs they can feel like they are not alone. We've all more than likely been to doctors. Medically, most of us have been given technical information. But anyone that doesn't have PCOS, or isn't living with someone who has it, can't really understand what it all means in the trenches of every day life. My wife tells me I can be a bit of a preachy lecturer......and long winded. So I'd like to say in advance, please forgive me.

Here's a little bit about me in a nutshell. I'm a roofer. I'm rocking on almost twenty years of roofing. We've been married since April 1st, 2000. Yep, April fools day. Jackie, my wife, wasn't properly diagnosed with PCOS until maybe halfway into our marriage. That didn't change the symptoms any but a proper diagnosis is a big relief all the same. I'm sure anyone reading this would agree, knowing there is a real medical condition involved can make a big difference emotionally. It makes PCOS the enemy, not each other. We don't have any children. We do have two very spoiled house cats.

I'm somewhat of a "tough guy". That sounds dumb I know, but I can't think of a better way to put it. I can be willful, at times even pig headed. I've always been a mind over matter type guy, a suck it up butter cup guy. I push myself to unreasonable limits physically, mentally, and emotionally. I don't think of myself as a macho man. More like a throw back to my grandfather's bread, though not as tough. I'm not all that sensitive or emotional. I was 23, almost 24, when we got married. Jackie fell in love with me for all these things, or maybe despite all these things. Either way, once we were married and the symptoms of her PCOS became more and more a part of our relationship, these aspects of my personality made things challenging.  We both had to adapt. Marriage is hard enough in the beginning for everyone to adjust to. I believe couples dealing with PCOS have an even greater challenge. Needless to say I had to be more sensitive, more patient, more yielding with my wife that I was with myself. That is still a work in progress. The main thing is we've been in this together from the beginning, and we'll be in this together until we're both old and grey........or she kills me.

 So, the purpose of my blog, and her's, is to share what we've learned together. Through many trials and hardships, with successes and failures along the way, my wife and I have been able to have a happy marriage. I am opinionated and have a lot of advice for any couple dealing with PCOS. From practical mundane things to more serious almost philosophical thing. I'm sure my perspective and opinions may not be for everyone, there's no one size fits all manual. If anything I say on this blog offends anyone, I'm sorry. Like I said in the beginning, I only want to share my experiences on the chance that it may prove helpful to anyone going through similar circumstances as myself. If nothing else some people might like knowing there are others out there who can appreciate what they're going through, myself included.

I'll try to be diligent about posting on this site. I'll also do my best to respond to comments promptly. In the end I am only a roofer.....not really a blogging, internet guy.

16 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to learning more. My wife and I have been married for 2 1/2 years and I having been trying to help her eat better. The hard part is that IO actually need to eat better too.

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  2. I appreciate you reading my blog. I know there is not a lot of support for us husbands living with PCOS. The more men who are willing to share their experience the better equipped all of us will be when trying to be good husbands. I'll post as many blogs as I can.

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  3. I want to commend you on sharing your side of PCOS. I am forwarding your blog to my future husband. I am sure he will love to know others going through this.

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  4. Reading this makes me feel guilty... I have a wonderful supportive husband like it seems you do too. I feel bad that PCOS has controlled not only my body but, control my marriage and life. I love my husband and I wouldn't know what to do without him. I haven't lashed out on him but, I thinking keeping things to myself may have the same kind of effect. I am working on being more open and letting him know when I feel a certain way so we can work it out together :) thanks for the wonderful insight!!

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  5. Hello I'm new to this let me start off by introducing myself my name is victor I'm 24 and my girl is still going from doctor to doctor trying to get an accurate diagnosis two doctors have said she has pcos and one has told her she is just irregular it breaks my heart to hear her going crazy over this and I go with her to some appointments I can and try to keep her spirits up and do what I can to cheer her up I love her and she always tells me that I can always just leave her but I love her and I won't ever do I can't consive thinking of that I'm glad there's somewhere where we can give eachother support thanks gents

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  6. Hi Matt,

    Thanks for leaving the roofing long enough to put a few words together for some of us.

    My girlfriend has pcos but is not communicative lately - never has been actually, just little bits now and then.
    Anyway, there's this link here, I dont know if you've seen it before. Please ask your wife to have a look and share her thoughts on the info there.
    I am glad other guys are sharing their views out there.

    http://www.biblelife.org/pcos.htm

    Lyle
    lylima@yahoo.co.uk

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  9. My wife has PCOS, we have been married for 10 years and we are now seperated, I am the focal point for all of her rage and negativety and it has not mattered if I stay quiet or fought back. It is very difficult to handle being called the names that she says to me over the simplest thing, these fits will happen in front of our kids. After the fit is over it is still my fault, if she asked why i am distant and I explain how I feel, she will tell me to be more of a man or stop being such a p@#$y. She has known that she has had PCOS for years. Since seperation, the highs and lows are enmore drastic. She tell me to leave her loan and the next day get made at me for not responding to her messages, or she will call me and the talk with start out nice and productive, but once my opinion differs from hers and I wont agree, she blows up goes 0-100mph in a second and after done I am the ass. I begged for marriage counsling for years so taht a Doc can help me and help her. but we shall see. reading your blog helped.

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  10. at work, no time to proof read, sorry for the typos

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  12. Are women with pcos selfish? My girlfriend seems to not care about important things sometimes. Emotionally she makes me feel like crap and I believe she can't help how she gets and I think there's other mental issues.

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  13. My fiance has PCOS. just like Joseph said sometimes she has make me feel like crap, but the point of view I look at it from is that one thing doesn't just happen by itself,meaning for every action there is a reaction. Her feelings just seem to be matter more at times. We have something so special, at times though I think it be easier to just give up yeah of course. just like a little incident happened right now was there a reason, that she went into a situation the mentality that I'm wrong wrong wrong, and yet I mean. Right.. the things I'm bege ning to understand is that's some things you just won't understand .but am I ever going to trying stop learning. No.. but there are tines where I feel like such a pos. I really believe it's unintentional.. is there anyone out there with any recommendations to help her see seeing this how I feel them. OR what it does to me,I say that because I do everything to try to learn about this little speed bump. However BUMPY it is ahead THE DESTINATION is worth it.

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  14. My fiance has PCOS. just like Joseph said sometimes she has make me feel like crap, but the point of view I look at it from is that one thing doesn't just happen by itself,meaning for every action there is a reaction. Her feelings just seem to be matter more at times. We have something so special, at times though I think it be easier to just give up yeah of course. just like a little incident happened right now was there a reason, that she went into a situation the mentality that I'm wrong wrong wrong, and yet I mean. Right.. the things I'm bege ning to understand is that's some things you just won't understand .but am I ever going to trying stop learning. No.. but there are tines where I feel like such a pos. I really believe it's unintentional.. is there anyone out there with any recommendations to help her see seeing this how I feel them. OR what it does to me,I say that because I do everything to try to learn about this little speed bump. However BUMPY it is ahead THE DESTINATION is worth it.

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  15. Ty for your blog I've been married to my wife for almost 2 years I the beginning she was the most caring amazing unbelievable woman and lately going Dr to Dr and her hormonal imbalances due to PCOS it's destroying our marriage she won't communicate done days she's highly affectionate others very cold and with holding of affection I'm at my wits end I love my wife but this PCOS has created a Dr Jeckle Mrs Hyde and I don't know how to help her or our marriage I'm almost afraid it's too late for us...... help with any suggestions

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